my destiny

sigh...

2006-02-27T04:33:00.000-08:00

sigh ireally duno wads wrong with me tis days...i stuck up with youtube
almost everyday i spent time on it....cant believe myself....the postin will be out soon....irealli hope i can get into the sku i want...but...i sometimes wonder...is my choice reali the choice of my future??...haha...geez...wad ami doin ... ppl hav to make a choice smehow rite ...if not wad esle is there to carry on living?...bleahz, wadeva...tis seriously doesnt sound like me at all.... okay lets see as i was sayin im let such a introvert these days... hee ..whole day im stuck at home so no choice but to use the com to lightan up my worries for the postin....haha
...i miss my friends too,seriously...

2006-01-17T22:19:00.000-08:00

there;s nothing much to do today realli..i almost totally forgot all abt my sis birthday today if it wasnt for the fact tad i was sub-conscious tis mornin when dad fetch her to sku...i could still roughly rmb him sayin 'happy birthday' to her...i feel so bad i hadnt made her a card...but nvm i decided tad i would compenstate her later ...perhaps on her chinese birthday...so ani wae i fell back asleep only to be awaken when i had an extremely urgent need for the bathroom..unfortunately i counldnt fell back asleep after tad...for the first time tis year i wasnt able to use the com @ 12 all becos i had to finish up the ironing...realli...i couldnt defy mum's orders...i forgot i had a bad throat and attempted to sing as i was ironin with my ipod..i nearly kill my throat and dad's ears...sigh...i ended my date with the iron board faster then usual lest the urge to sing arises again...ironin wasnt so bad before when i had my singin to keep me goin...but today it was like 'arrrggh'...dad finally left the house to fetch my sis frm sku...but by then i had to go and bathe so no chance to sing with my ipod lor...goodness ...im still feelin so bad i couldnt get anything for my sis...aniwae mum's bringing us out for a fabulous dinner tonite (or so she says... i hav no idea wher)..lets see if i can get her smething then...

oh oh ...

2006-01-16T21:07:00.000-08:00

ok ...ever since the o;s and the prom everything seems to be goin downhill...i tried getting A job you noe...but it didnt turn out to be as easy as wad i tot...especially when you have absolute ly no strings to pull @...and when ur mum turns out to be as unhelpful and as unsurpportive as eva...seriously...sigh...yt and i wanted to go try for a job @ pizza hut ...it says walk in interview in the papers ...but when we get ther ... me and yt were just two nervous wrecks...we absolutely hav no idea how to go about it at all..we walk up and down the entire basement 1 and 2 ...got my nail polish and had lunch at kfc...jo wasnt very helpful either lor...sobwe walk past tad pizza hut (i dont noe how many times)...in the end it was me who finally (painstakingly though..) bulit up the courage to open my mouth to ask...but ther was no interview...instead they just gave us a form to fill up...wheew...to think tad i was freakin scared for the interview...it turned to be none...aniwae they said they would call us but yt and i didnt recieve A single call frm then on.... sigh..so we decided tad we will not give up so easily...cafe cartel happens to be hiring too...we decided to try again but lady luck doesnt favour us apparently...we were told to come back next week cos only then do they need people...okay...i tot there was hope for us still...we decided to come the following week...when we got back the followin week again the same thing happen...the both of us once again were so jitterly(come to think of it , we were being rather stupid leh..)walk the entire area before this time yt finally muster the courage to ask ...but they then told us they only needed experience personnel to work for them...i dont to say them but i mean ,being for a part-time waitress how much 'experience' do you need?...aniwae, after they rejected us...yt and i decided we wanted to take neoprint to sort of just lighten up our moods...so we made our way to action city...and, guess who we saw?...mel and clara chan!..omigod we were so delighted !...yt and i had just finish takin our neoprints and were just about to leave when i told yt to see if there is any of those papers meant for printin the neoprints left on the floor like the previous time and ta-tad!..yt spotted clara firstand then mel...and so like wad most girls love to do...we SCREAMED at the sight of each other...haha...its like we hav been separated for ages...thanks goodness we turn back...if not we would hav never hav met..guess tads wad we call fate right?...i absolutely love tis kind of meetings...the surprise and shock element...cool arh...haha..thus we decided tad we must hav something to remind us of this fateful event...therefore we took neoprints again...and @ the same time i was gettin pretty broke myself...haha but never mind its worth to spend tis kind of money...in the end, though i promise dad i'll be home before 6 i ended up getting home after 6 cos i had to wait for mel to travel home with me and the search for tad dumb nail polish removal solution....

becos of you

2005-12-29T02:49:00.000-08:00

i will not make the same mistakes that you did i will not let myself cause my heart so much misery i will not break the way you did you fell so har i've learned the hard way to never let it get tad far becos of you i never stray too far from the sidewlk becos of you i learned to play on the safe side so i dont get hurt becos of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me becos of you i m afraid i lose my way and its not too long before you point it out i cannot cry becos i noe its weakness in ur eyes im forced to fake a smile a laugh everyday of my life my heart cant possibly break when it wasnt even whole to start with becos of you i never stray too far from the sidewalk becos of you i learned to play on the safe side so i dun get hurt becos of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me becos of you i m afraid i watched you die i heard you cry every night in ur sleep i was so young you shld hav known better than to lean on me you never tought of anyone else you just saw your pain and now im crying in the middle of the night for the same damn thing becos of you i never stray too far from the sidewalk becos of you i try my hardest just to forget everything becos of you i dont noe how to let anyone else in becos of youim ashamed of my life becos its empty becos of you i m afraid becos of you

yea!!~

2005-09-22T03:47:00.000-07:00

.ha.the.prelims.r.finalli.over.i.cant.believe.it.i.duno.whether.i.did.well.i.reali.
.hope.i.dun.fail.anything.i.realli.wana.do.well.i.dun.wanna.keep.disappointing.
.my.parents.i.wana.prove.to.them.tad.i.can.succeed.sigh.i.think.history.is.
.repeating.itself.now.wad.happen.4.yrs.ago.is.taking.place.now.again.i.couldnt.
.handle.it.then.so.wad.makes.me.think.i.can.handle.it.now.i.may.never.know.
.maybe.now.or.maybe.later.who.knows.for.sure.my.dad.and.mum.surpported.
.then.will.they.now.do.the.same.thing.my.sis.will.alwaez.be.there.for.me.i.noe.
.she.alwaez.will.no.matter.wad.i.love.her.for.tad.ha.but.now.tad.im.older.do.
.i.still.need.the.support.i.duno.again.i.mean.who.reali.knows.pls.dun.let.history.
.repeat.itself.once.more.im.scared.i.truly.m.

oh ok ok...i promise?!~

2005-08-24T03:25:00.000-07:00

okok...i promise tad tis will be the last time i blog b4 the prelims
but realli
how can i?
will i be able to ?
well lets see if im able to..
~**haha***~

we cannot make it ...

2005-08-09T01:04:00.000-07:00

haha
fat hope
singapore wishing to be a artistic and gracious society ...i think we can realli dream on...there's no way we r eva gona make it...the fashion sense and style of the ppl we see on the streets is just arrrh....i dont how to put it into words....everything thats hot in demand here is either too lian or too sporty....i just cannot stand it....know the reason why we cant be like italy or usa?....simply becos we r afraid....we r afraid tad to dress nicely...not just a ragged piece of cloth the ppl called shirt with some stupid checked pants...i mean at least get a proper shirt to wear!!....we r afraid tad if we just take a longer time to dress when we go out for dinner or tad if we wear a 3/4 skirt out to dinner at a hawker centre or food court ppl will say tad we r asking for attention...oh come on!!...its just basic courtesy tad we are properly attired....it doesnt hav too be so exquisite...just proper good-looking ones will do...and our ppl are simply ridiculous....they are so heartless....i rmb and incident where by an old lady's wallet was stolen at wisma atria....she screamed for help...yet nobody lifted a finger to even atempt to help her....
i realli dont know
how does the government want these ppl to change?
we may be a safe country but if we live with such ppl, i rather live elsewhere tad may not be as safe as singapore but with a more humane nature...the sense of style her so so so dull and smetimes even to the point of dead....oh dear now....how will we eva be an artistic country?

...hm~mm...

2005-08-04T02:50:00.000-07:00

when do ppl they make the right choice in their lifes? everybody always tels u...study hard work hard, so tad u can go smewhere regardless of whether its sch , vacation or wadeva of ur choice...but how exactly do you tad ur choice is right way?... how do u know tad wad u choose is right for ur life body soul and mind?
its the same with love ...u usualli most of the time u cant differentiate infatutation from love... u think u r in love with him... but it turns out tad its only an infatutation...it isnt love... becos within a week i was sick of tis guy ...in the beginning i was thinkin of him day in day out... now the tot of his voice just irks me....i even had to lie tad im migrating...ok i know tis is a bit exaggerated...but its true...he is like an irritating mosquito... he called me almost ten times in a day...i was terrified ...didnt dare on my hp...and he is like we haven even met and he ask me to be his g.f....its a bit nonsensical ....now im much safer though...
love is different...according to experts, you know its love when u dun think of him day in day out... u can breath without him...he just sort of lingers in ur tots smetimes...u feel comfortable with him at ur side ,when u talk... wonder if tad happenin now...

how can he do tad?

2005-07-27T04:18:00.000-07:00

how can he do tis kind of thing?
he is a teacher.....for heavens sake...
his students r not his slave or servant
MR YEE OF SMSS...
how can u ever do such a thing?
u hav disgrace the sch
disgrace urself, ur family and the ppl around u
yes u can be anrgy
but tad doesnt give u the right
to flunked the icecream sticks on the floor
purposely right in front of ur student
and order her to pick it up
tad is utterly nonsense
and a clear violation of human rights
u shouldnt hav put on tad smug look
u hav trampled on the girl's pride and dignity
by doing so
u hav done smething so terribly wrong
its shear destruction of her human rights
im telling u
U SHOULDNT HAV DONE TAD
if it wasnt becos its her last year at smss
she wouldnt hav let u off so easily
dun be too smug abt it
there is smething call retribution mind u
dun ever forget tad we
will be watchin ur every move.....

the school

2005-07-19T04:08:00.000-07:00

tis school is full of nonsense....i duno wad has becom of its prefects....its full of rubbish....S.M.S.S has loss its hold i think....today i was nt even late ...yet they booked me....when i reached the sch porch the actual time was 7.25....and yet again they say its 7.30 and booked me...iwas furious......iasked the perfect, her name is XIAO XUAN,she is frm a sec 3 class, why m i being booked...all she could say was tad she's sori and she has to take my name...so wad does tis mean ? tad juz becos she a position higher then me she has a hold over me?... or is it tad she was jus too thick in the head to be fexible ?...in tis case i wasnt even in the wrong....she's also indecisive....she's a perfect yet she duno wad to do in times like tis....its not as if its her first day being a perfect...iwas late becos it was raining and thus causing a huge and slow jam ....yet wheni tell her tad it was raining then she bluntly , dumbly retorted,"but its not raining now, senior."....ther was a slight drizzle when she was sayin tad... ok so then i told her there was a huge jam...her looks tells me she didnt quite believe me....jus then another perfect, B(i duno wad is her name),came up..XIAO XUAN asked,"they say ther was a traffic jam leh, should we booked them ?"....know wad was B's reply?..."but the others all got booked so we cannot dun booked her lor."......and the stupidest of al... i let XIAO XUAN take my name ....but i was so angry ....though i still give her apiece of my mind...ok she did try to tell me tad perhapsi woudlnt be counted as late tis time b ut she wasnt able to put across her points to me proper and promptly...i could hav been into the sch
2-3 mins earlier if not for the idoit security guard and dumb perfect C ...i cant remember wads their name....if i know, iwould have gladly shamed them here too....the traffic at the main gate was a 2-way traffic...yet C went to close one of the gates causing a slight jam to take place there....worse she didnt allow those students who were alreadi at the gate in to the compounds first...intsead she let those in the opp direction cum out first!...in the end 10-smething students were later by 2-3 mins....actuali it wouldnt hav mattered that much if the security had opened the side for the vehicles to go out of the sch....early in the morning he went to close the door aledi....wad rubbish....students were once again late becos the securtiy and perfects didnt use their brains.....wad was more horrible was wad i saw later as my dad drove into the sch....ther was suppose to be a small gate nearing the chapel for pupils to use to enter the from the nearby busstop.....frm the busstop to that small gate it was totally sheltered frm the rain....the goverment's purpose in building that is to protect its ppl frm the rain and sun ....yet these dumb perfects (there was two of them, one of which is XIAO XUAN) went to lock tis gate !.....in the end those students have to make a huge u-turn, unsheltered frm the rain ,into the sch ....if these students fall sick i truly wonder how these brainless so-called perfects are goin to account to so many parents......

it sucks

2005-07-14T04:10:00.000-07:00

i lead a life i dun wan
i jus wanna b myself
why cant i
they keep sayin
if i dun do well in exams
i'll nv make it
wads tad
it isnt reasonable
how many successful ppl
out ther
make millions
although they
suck at maths
suck at writing
suck at physics
suck at chemistry
suck at chinese
suck at geography
suck at history
so
isnt it enough
to prove them wrong
cant they just give up
i wanna do other things
design
sing
dance
have a go at the design industry
but
can i.....

=L.I.F.E=

2005-07-14T04:04:00.000-07:00

life is unkind
life is unfair
life is nv gd to mankind
life is depressing
life is upsetting
life is saddening
life is horrible
life crushes hope
life deprives u of living
life sents u deep into pits
life gives u horrible tots
life lives u feelin miserable
life causes u to weep
life makes u wonder
= WAD R WE HERE FOR? =